What I Did on My Summer Vacation

Well, not my summer vacation, exactly, and of course it's not over yet. But the girls and I went to Virginia to spend a week with their grandparents; to visit a few of the tourist traps you can't go to when you actually live in a place; and to remember why I don't love Virginia in the summer. (Hint: When we landed and were waiting on the jet way for the stroller to emerge from the belly of the plane, Hannah stood for a moment, confused, before asking "UGH! What is that??" That, my little love, is what is known as humidity.)

Aside from the 18-hour door-to-door trip, we had a great time. We went to the Zoo, where we got to see all three of the pandas; the Botanic Gardens, which Grandma and I probably enjoyed more than the girls did; and out for a day of boating on Lake Anna, courtesy the neighbors.

The girls were astounded by the enormous copper screen at the Museum of the American Indian and by the prism window, though they were probably more charmed by the fact that they could dance in the rainbows it cast on the floor:


And I love how they were able to pull off the all American look just in time to hang out in the nation's capital:*



* It's all in the photography--thanks, Penny!

Another Sign that Women are Smarter

And meaner, too. Thanks Sarah!

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers. The woman says, 'So, you're a man. That's interesting. I am a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days'.

Flattered, the man replies, 'Oh yes, I agree completely, this must be a sign from God! But you're still at fault. Women shouldn't be allowed to drive.'

The woman continues, 'And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.'

She hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.

The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, 'Aren't you having any?'

The woman replies, ‘No. I think I'll just wait for the police....'

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are clever, evil bitches.

Random Answers of the Week

Yes, Scott McClellan's book, What Happened, is as rambling and confusing a read as any of his White House press conference transcripts. And yes, Karen Hughes should be pissed, nay dismayed, that McClellan writes that he "honed [his] communication skills under her direction."

TuTu Time, II

Hannah loves ballet, too--especially the costumes! Her class played the blackbirds in Hansel and Gretel:

She was very upset that the costumes were to be donated to the school and wants me to make her one just like this. It will be very easy, she assured me, because we already have lots of chicken feathers to make the fringe.

TuTu Time

From Charlotte's first ballet recital:



Her pre-ballet class danced to Kermit's "Rainbow Connection." I was worried that she wouldn't go out on the stage or stay there once the lights went up, but she continues to amaze me. Not only did she stay and follow the teachers' lead, at one point she actually waved to the audience.

It seems a lifetime ago but once upon a time I was afraid that Charlotte might never walk. Then when she finally did walk she would often just collapse for no apparent reason. But there is no quit in her and never has been. And she loved being up there, dancing for a proper audience. When I went backstage to get her, she yelled across the dressing room "Me dance! Me dance!"

So, yes. I cried like a baby.

There's Hope Yet

Hannah and the truth don't often like to be in the same room together. It's not exactly a new phenomenon, but I'm hoping it's a phase and so I found a wee ray of hope in the following exchange:

I was getting the girls ready for bed when I noticed that the duster that belongs in the vacuum was not actually in the vacuum. The girls like to take it out and play with it--sometimes to sword fight and occasionally even to dust!--and it doesn't always make it back to its holster. This does not rise to the level of a time-out offense, but I do like to have it where it belongs in case I need it.

Me: Charlotte, do you know where the duster is?

Charlotte: My room.

Me: Did you take it out to play with?

Charlotte: Yes.

Me: Will you go get it and put it back please?

Charlotte: Ok!

Hannah, eyes and mouth wide in shock: But . . . she didn't even try to lie!

Me, trying not to laugh: No, she didn't. She's usually very truthful.

Hannah: So . . . she's not in trouble?

Me: No, she's not.

Hannah: Huh. Maybe I should try that some time.

Happy Birthday to Me . . .

Can it get better? Barack Obama wins the delegate count (and the nomination). David Sedaris was on The Daily Show (left column, under recent guests). I had a Pamplemousse triple chocolate mousse cake* all to myself and the girls spent the evening "helping" Thomas put together a new play structure.

So Happy Birthday to me, and Happy Birthday to you too, Gait!



* Thanks, Lisa!

Votes for Chickens!

No, we're not asking that chickens be allowed to vote. This will be much easier--especially in states where ID is required at the polls.

Over on Urban Chickens, Thomas has posted a video made by one of Sophia and Zsu Zsu's fans, Stacey. Stacey's daughter, Olivia, has entered the video in the Story Tube competition held by Scholastic. They need you to watch the video and vote--but you have to do it today AND tomorrow, because, yes, I am a slacker and am posting this late.

Here's the deal (Stacey's plea, as copied from Urban Chickens):

[Olivia] was chosen as a finalist and now the winner is being chosen by a live, on-line vote. The winner receives $500 in books plus $1000 in book for their local library (she wants to give it to her school library which just lost massive funding.)

If you like, check out the video and vote at http://www.storytubes.info. You can vote once a day until the polls close on Wednesday night. Tell all your friends, too! Go chickens!!

So go! Watch the video! Vote for it--you'll want to anyway; it's good!

(Olivia's video is bottom row, center.)

More Hockey, Please

I'm watching Game 5 of the Stanley Cup finals--what could actually be the last game of the season. But for that to happen, Detroit has to win and Pittsburgh doesn't seem to have any quit in them tonight. Which puts me in an odd position, fan-wise.

Obviously, I'm a Sharks fan. I still have a soft spot for the Washington Caps because they were my first hockey love. I don't like Detroit. But I loathe Pittsburgh. One of my favorite signs at a hockey game was one posted years ago by a Caps fan, welcoming the "Pittsburgh Professional Diving Team." Hockey fans will appreciate.

Now, because the Sharks don't play Pittsburgh that often, I don't have as much reason to detest as I once did, but Mario still owns the team and I dunno. He always seemed such a, what's the word . . . princess.

All that aside, I find myself sitting here watching Game 5, sort of hoping that the Penguins win. It won't get them the Cup, but it would get an awful lot of us another hockey game. After all, October is a long time to wait.