Thursday, March 20, 2008

Signs of Spring

Hannah and Charlotte are both on spring break this week, which explains both LCM's absence and the not-so-subtle bald patches appearing on my head. Thank goodness their grandparents were here for a few days or I might have pulled out all of my hair by now.

Bonus! I found out today that Hannah has Monday off, too. To quote Lozo in Diggers, "It's not that I don't love the little #$%^ers . . . "

Thursday, March 13, 2008

The Delegate Debacle

Yesterday, Hillary Clinton said that "she absolutely would not accept a negotiated apportionment of Florida delegates." [Washington Post] Of course she wouldn't because her "win" would give her another 38 delegates and at this point, both candidates are scrambling for every one they can get.

Her quote:

"In my view there are two options: Honor the results or hold new primary elections."

I'd like to mention a third option:

HONOR THE DECISION OF THE DNC THAT BOTH FLORIDA AND MICHIGAN WOULD BE STRIPPED OF THEIR DELEGATES FOR VIOLATING PARTY RULES. No one gets any of the delegates.

It is inconceivable to me that either state would be allowed to seat their delegates. They were warned of the consequences; all candidates agreed to forgo campaigning in those two states, and Barack Obama wasn't even on the ballot in Michigan. Why? Because he was playing by the rules.

So aside from the shouted option above, the only "fair" way to do this is to split the delegates 50/50 just to shut everyone up. But if the delegates are seated, thus proving that there is no real punishment for a violation of DNC rules, what's to prevent any state from moving their primaries to the September or October the year prior to the the next general election? In that case we'll all have to be doubly grateful that email is easier to get rid of than direct mail.

Monday, March 10, 2008

File Under Arrogance

Hillary Clinton, through Bill (a guy I used to like and hopefully will again), has "graciously" offered Barack Obama the VP slot on the ticket. Obama's perfect response:

"First of all, with all due respect, I've won twice as many states as Sen. Clinton. I've won more of the popular vote than Sen. Clinton. I have more delegates than Sen. Clinton. So, I don't know how somebody who's in second place is offering the vice presidency to somebody who's in first place."

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Paging Mrs Baker

After a year or so of fielding calls for for a Terry Barnes, who apparently owed a lot of people a lot of money, I finally gave in and changed our home number. I'm not talking about a few random calls, either. I've taken calls from collectors--lots of those--but also from a few attorneys' offices and once from a detective. He's the one who told me about the large civil suit. He also suggested that I change the phone number. At that point, I didn't think it was too much of a problem and--silly me--that eventually people would stop calling after a few repetitions of "I'm sorry, there's no Terry Barnes here. No, I'm not Mrs Barnes."

But at long last, I decided that enough was really enough, so I made the call.

The process was pretty easy, though I didn't realize that you could actually choose from a series of numbers. And because Robin from AT&T knew why I was changing the number, she searched for a while t0 find the one that had been out of service the longest.

One week after I changed the number, let our families know that we weren't hiding from them, and updated all of our contacts, it began anew.

"Hello? No, I'm sorry, you have the wrong number. No, there is no Mrs Baker here. Excuse me? (sigh) No, no Mr Baker, either."

The Weekly Dammit, #23

I've been sick for a week or so, but now that the antibiotics, Advil and Sudafed have kicked in, the Weekly Dammit is back! Though I might need to drop the "Weekly."

Dammit #1:
I got sick 10 days ago and finally went to the doctor today. I think this is something that pretty much every mom does. If it were one of the kids, I would have taken them to the doctor in a heartbeat. But I wait ten days to find out that I have an ear and a sinus infection, and as a bonus, that my heart rate issue is probably due to my "deconditioning."

Dammit #2:
In the aftermath of their breakup, conservative writer and former Fox News pundit, Rachel Marsden, released personal emails and "salacious chats" from Wikipedia founder, Jimmy Wales. She's also using eBay to sell what she says are clothes he left at her home.

In my favorite part of the San Jose Mercury News article, she says
"My only focus right now, to be really honest, is on my career and finding a way to get back into print, TV or radio here in NYC. All of this other personal stuff is just an unfortunate distraction."

I'm guessing that she's still in Fox News mode and that what she really meant was that the "personal stuff" she tossed out there was a fabulous way to get her name back on radar.

Dammit #3:
Hillary Clinton and her campaign want to get delegates from Michigan and Florida seated at the national convention in Denver this summer. This in spite of the fact that all candidates agreed, long before the primary season began, to abide by the decision of the DNC: because both Michigan and Florida moved their primaries up to January, they would be stripped of their delegates.
Whether you call it moving the goalposts or switching horses midstream, it's cheating and poor sportsmanship. And yes, I would say that if we were talking about Barack Obama's campaign.

Dammit #4:
When a telemarketer or other unknown number appears on my sister's caller ID, her kids fight to be the first to answer the phone with "Thank god you called! The pigs are out!" before hanging up. Why didn't I think of that?!

Monday, March 03, 2008

Doctors' Comments On Patient Charts

Happy Monday!
  • "Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year."

  • "On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely."

  • "The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993."

  • "Discharge status: Alive but without permission."

  • "Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful."

  • "The patient refused an autopsy."

  • "The patient has no past history of suicides."

  • "Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital."

  • "Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days."

  • "Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch."

  • "She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night."

  • "She is numb from her toes down."

  • "While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home."

  • "The skin was moist and dry."

  • "Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches."

  • "Patient was alert and unresponsive."

  • "She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce."

  • "I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy."

  • "The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead."

  • "Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities."

  • "Skin: Somewhat pale but present."

  • "Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen, and I agree."

  • "By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart stopped, and he was feeling better."

  • "The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed."

  • "When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room."

  • "Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing."

  • "The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him."

  • "The patient expired on the floor uneventfully."