And the Oblivi-Bubble Expands

Dan Froomkin has this little tidbit in the Washington Post this morning, from an interview with Ann Curry of the Today Show (sorry, Thomas):

First Lady Laura Bush said this morning that "no one suffers more" than the president and she do when watching television footage of the carnage in Iraq -- potentially opening her up to charges that the first family is too removed from the anguish of American troops and their families.

The first lady was on NBC's Today show mostly to talk about the president's malaria initiative, but at one point Ann Curry showed some video from Iraq and asked Bush, in a hushed, solicitous tone: "You know the American people are suffering, watching --"

The first lady replied: "Oh, I know that, very much. And believe me, no one suffers more than their president and I do when we watch this. And certainly the commander in chief who has asked our military to go into harm's way --"

Sigh. And just when you thought that there was at least one sane person left at the White House.

Is There Lead in the Water?

The President "doesn't remember," or "doesn't believe that he ever said that."

The Vice-president "can't recall," or "never said that."

The Vice-president's chief of staff "can't recall," doesn't remember" and "has no recollection."

The Attorney General "can't recall," "doesn't remember," "wasn't precise in his choice of words," "has no recollection," and "doesn't dispute that the decision was made but doesn't recall making the decision."

Maybe it's time for the EPA to run tests on air, soil and water samples taken from the general vicinity of the White House. I wonder if they have a test for plain old bull-shit . . .

Girly Girl: 1; Mom: 0

One day last week, I was sitting on the front steps watching the girls play in the sunshine.

After a few moments, Hannah climbed up to my perch; she lovingly put her hand on my denim-clad knee and gently tucked the strand of pearls into my blue oxford cloth shirt.

“You are so sweet,” I said as I bent to kiss the top of her head. “Were you protecting Mommy’s necklace?”

Kissing me on the nose, Hannah shook her head solemnly and said, “No, I’m hiding them. You dress like a boy and boy don’t wear pearls.”

Hannah's Gallery

Since there was no way that I was going to be able to keep up with--or physically store--all of Hannah's drawings, I decided to open an online gallery for her. Prints are not for sale and may or may not still exist. (Ask Charlotte about that one.)

So if you want to see what the four-year-old set is drawing this year, check out Hannah's Gallery! There's also a link in my Blog Roll.

NOTE: I have been informed by the artist that I did not choose the right drawings for the first collection, but she was too busy creating new ones to offer guidance. So, these are my selections. I especially like "Windy Day."

Get Me to a Nunnery

Or anywhere that enforces a vow of silence.

I only want to go for a week or two.

Maybe three.

Hannah has reached that age where, if she is awake, she is talking. She talks to Charlotte while getting dressed--even if Charlotte is still sleeping (or pretending to). If there is no response, she'll talk to her stuffed animals. Some mornings, she'll help me start my day with a cheery "Good morning!" followed by a recitation of last night's dreams, activities she's planned for the day, which animals are coming to the tea party, whether Charlotte is invited, followed closely by asking if it's alright if she colors, if she can watch Wubzy, if there is school today, whether it is sharing day yet, may she please have orange juice in her Tinkerbell cup . . .

And then she asks if I'm going to get up and make her breakfast.

If Thomas is home, he gets it first and I try to sneak in to the kitchen while Hannah has a mouth full of cereal. If I'm lucky--and fast enough--I can get in a gulp or two of coffee before she starts again. This makes it a little easier to follow her trains of thought.

I wonder if all of the kids in her class are at the same stage. If so, I know why her teacher had to take a week off . . .

Hoping for Divine Intervention

So I'm catching up on the Amazing Race--I TiVo it and wait until Thomas gets back in town since it's so much more fun to watch it when he's here. So anyway. I'm not usually into wanting people booted off of shows. But this is a special case. Charla and Mirna must go away. I hated them in their first trip around the world and I detest them now. Especially Mirna. She is hateful and oblivious. And if we are to know people by how they treat other people, the people whose help they need, she loses big time.

She uses a fake accent, and no matter which country they're in at the time, it's the same accent.

She asked a Polish cab driver if he liked sausage.

She says inane things like "As an attorney, I can tell when people are lying to me." I had NOT idea they taught that in law school!

So here's my little prayer:

"Dear God: Please make her go away. Make her stop using her cousin as a prop in The Mirna Show." Mirna likes to say that they "want to show people that it doesn't matter if you're short (Charla) or super thin (Mirna), you can still do things."

Um, what? I can understand the part about being a little person. But when was the last time someone whined about not being able to do something because they were thin?

As my favorite advice guru, Carolyn Hax, likes to say, "Chips in bowls, not on shoulders, please."


*********

UPDATE:
Crap. They're still in the race.

Happy (?) Hunting. It's All About Location

At the Redwood City egg hunt:500 kids were expected. 2500 kids showed up. There were 5000 eggs. Guess how many the girls got?


That's right. One. Each. We waited for the four-year olds to go in and, by that time, the older kids had gone in from the other side. It was like watching a herd of locusts--the egg line kept receding into the distance. Our neighbor, Lisa, took two from her son (1-year old; he was happy to oblige).

So we did an egg hunt in the back yard the next morning. 12 eggs, 2 kids, 1 nosy dog. Much better odds.



Ah--all better.

More on Studio 60

From Lisa de Moraes's column in the Washington Post today:

"From the beginning, '30 Rock' has proven to be the kind of quality comedy that doesn't come around very often and we are very pleased to have this show back for a second season," NBC Entertainment chief Kevin Reilly said in yesterday's announcement. "We expect it to continue to build its increasingly loyal audience and become another of NBC's classic comedy series."

The decision to give an early green light to Fey's show for a second season, rather than Sorkin's, was a no-brainer.

For instance, NBC pointed out that, season to date, "30 Rock" is averaging 2.7 percent of the country's audience of 18-to-49-year-olds. That's the age bracket advertisers pay a premium to reach and NBC therefore targets with its entertainment series.

"Studio 60" is averaging only 3.6 percent of the audience in that age bracket.

Hmmmmm.

Well, how about this: "30 Rock's" overall audience, season to date, is a solid 5.8 million viewers, NBC says in its announcement.

"Studio 60's" season-to-date overall audience is just 8.5 million.

[Crickets.] Upscale -- "30 Rock" is very upscale. NBC likes upscale. According to NBC, "30 Rock" is one of the most upscale comedies on television. In fact, NBC says, it rates 28 percent higher among adults 18-49 living in homes with $100,000-plus incomes than it rates among all adults 18-49.

"Studio 60"? Well, "Studio 60" rates 28 percent higher among adults 18-49 living in homes with $100,000-plus incomes than it rates among all adults 18-49.

Now that it's become so transparent why one show got picked up but not the other, it's barely worth mentioning that NBC Universal 2.0 owns "30 Rock" but not "Studio 60" -- that's owned by Warner Bros."

Now don't get me wrong. I like 30 Rock. Once I got past Tracey Jordan's scratching-fingernails-on-chalkboard personality, I was able to appreciate it for the sometimes smart and funny show that it is. But it will never be as good as Studio 60. And I LOVE(ed) Studio 60.

I Think I Hate NBC . . .

For years, it seemed that most of my favorite shows were on NBC. The shows were smarter. The writing seemed to be crisper. The acting was generally better. Even the production values were better. But the peacock seems to have lost its way. So here are a few reasons I am coming to rue my love affair with NBC, as well as a few that keep me hanging on. Let's just go through the weekly schedule, saving the bright spots for last. (NOTE: I started this post awhile ago, so the lineup may have changed.)

Monday:
1) Studio 60 (follow the link and you'll see they've already buried it)--The smartest, best written show on network TV--went on hiatus while NBC introduced us to The Black Donnellys--which is now being cancelled. Even though it had been expected for months, I was so annoyed about Studio 60 being put on the shelf that I can't bring myself to be interested in The Black Donnellys. Someone let me know if it's actually worth watching. Today, I hear that Studio 60 will not be returning. Not to NBC anyway. Maybe someone else will pick it up?

2) Deal or No Deal--I sort of like Howie Mandel, but not enough to make this "must see TV." It was fun for about 5 minutes and then it just got old. And more of a bad thing does not a good thing make.

3) Replacing Studio 60: Thank God You're Here, which NBC says "showcases the improvisational skills of a group of four brave actors each week, as they walk into a live sketch without a script, their only armor and unforeseen and unexplained wardrobe change." One assumes that hilarity ensues, mostly because NBC assures us that it is, indeed, hilarious. And it opens with back to back episodes!

Tuesday:
1) Dateline NBC--This show could have been so much better. An entire hour when they could talk about something that matters and instead they have a creepy guy luring more creepy guys in so they can get an arrest--and hopefully a confession!--on camera. They tell themselves that they are ding a public service, but hows about we let the police do they job?

Of course, that's not all Dateline does; lately they've also treated us to: "The Battle for Anna Nicole Smith's body"! (Our local NBC station carried the funeral live--the genesis for this post.); "Are We Hung Up On Celebs in Free Fall?" (who do they mean by "we?"); How clean/safe are your schools/restaurants/ grocery stores/fast food chains . . .

Wednesday:
Surprise! I actually have nothing bad to say about Wednesday. I stopped being a regular viewer of Crossing Jordon when they went all supernatural a few seasons ago, but I've caught snippets since then and don't detest it.


Thursday:
Love most of this (see below) so hopefully there will be at least one night they won't mess up.

Friday:
Sweet mother of god. 1 vs 100 AND Identity in the same night? Oh wait--they've moved them around again. It's just Identity. And Raines. I like Jeff Goldblum, but I don't know. I just not buying him as a homicide detective. Or as a star of the small screen, for that matter. Some people seem to have been made for TV and some for the silver screen. Jeff Goldblum=Movies. David Carouso=TV.

Thank god for TiVo, Center Ice and House.

Pets vs People: Pets Win Again

I love my dog, Argus. I would be devastated if anything happened to him. But I still cannot comprehend why the tainted pet food story has taken the lead on our local newscast every night since the story broke--with the exception of a brief "breaking news" story on the tsunami in the Solomon Islands last night.

Over the weekend, six more US soldiers died in Iraq, and it was the third or fourth story, rating not more than a few seconds. And--I've looked three times but perhaps I missed it--the San Jose Mercury News said nothing about the deaths at all, either yesterday or today. There was, however, a long piece on The Sopranos (which perhaps could have been in the entertainment section?) and the profile of an immigrant family, all but one of whom are legal. Front page, above the fold.

In other front page news: Bush on the captured British sailors and the index (Sunday). What, you were expecting more? And today, in order of space given: Update in the works for hidden gem--Face lift for a waterfront park; Reused water draws scrutiny at play fountains; VTA bus service faces shake-up; U.S learns of Al-Qaida rebound with dismay; and Airline quality continues to drop. While I don't question the newsworthiness of any of these stories, I obviously question the placement they were given.

But I suppose it's a no-win for newsrooms: Prominently publish the numbers of dead and wounded and, while half of the people may be satisfied, the rest will assume that you are mocking the administration and disrespecting the dead. Silly me for thinking it more disrespectful to hold pets in higher regard than the people fighting and dying in Iraq.

Nice to Know I'm Not the Only One . . .

I just opened the March 30 issue of The Week to a nice surprise: seems that music reviewers from The Washington Post, The New York Times and Los Angeles Daily News all gave high marks to Amy Winehouse's Back to Black. I beat them to it by a month and a half, but I think they have a slightly OK, astronomically) larger readership. That and they have to write actual reviews instead of just a "I LOVE this!"

If you still haven't checked it out, you can find it on Amazon for a ridiculously low $9.99.

Time to Get Dirty

Haha, made you look!

Thanks to my friend Christy for sending this:

"In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt."

--Margaret Atwood

Unity '08 Anyone?

Just a few short months ago, those of us who lean a bit more to the left were yelling about the Republican-controlled Congress for stuffing funding bills with pet projects and lots of other extras that had nothing to do with the original bill (anyone remember the 300 million dollar Bridge to Nowhere, which even the conservative Heritage Foundation called a "national embarrassment?"). We called it pork. We called it earmarks. We also called it "wrong."

And now we get to call the Democrats hypocrites for doing exactly the same thing.

In order to pass a funding bill that would end the war in Iraq in 2008, the Democrats have stuffed the bill with billions of dollars in domestic spending--otherwise know as "large carrots" or "bribes." Republicans and conservative Democrats who would have voted "No" on the funding bill are having to rethink the issue since this is money that, in some cases, is badly needed in their districts. This isn't "bridge to nowhere" kind of money either. It's about 21 billion dollars split among projects that include rebuilding the Gulf Coast; drought relief for some southern and western states; help for California's farmers hit by the E. coli outbreak; as well as various other agricultural disasters. All in need of funding, but maybe this isn't the way to go about it.

When you use tactics like this you cannot call the outcome a "bipartisan victory," or tout it as a bipartisan declaration that the war must end. Because it's pretty much a few people holding a gun to the collective head of the rest of the House and denying them the right to vote their conscience, or that of their constituents. (Forgive me while I play Pollyanna here.)

Bill Number One should be the war funding bill. You all know how I feel about that debacle (if not, you do now!), but this bill should be about the US military already in Iraq, when to get them out and how. Not to mention how to clean up the mess we're leaving behind. [Lest anyone think that I am a peace-at-all-costs kind of girl: I thought we were right to bomb the hell out of the Taliban--a little "thanks for your hospitality to BL and his cohorts." It was a bonus that these were the same people who executed anyone who dared to teach a girl or employ a woman. But I digress once again.] So that's Bill Number One: Funding for the War in Iraq.

Bills Number Two through However-Many-it-Takes should cover the domestic issues mentioned above. But let's stop playing this little game of "hide the pork" because, 1) it sounds disgusting, 2) it's BS. And it's just one more reason that Unity '08 is starting to look so appealing.

Why Yes, it IS a Vodka Tonic!

So I'm trying to figure out where to draw the line between giving Hannah her privacy and ending up with my arm plunged into the toilet trying to stop an entire roll of paper before it gets sucked down the way-too-small drain.

If anyone has any tips, I'm happy to hear them.

In the meantime, yes, it is a vodka tonic.

Newberry Madness

In 1922, Frederic G. Melcher and the American Library Association launched the first-ever award for children's literature, reasoning that the genre deserved as much "notice and encouragement" as others. The original agreement stated that the award was "To encourage original creative work in the field of books for children. To emphasize to the public that contributions to the literature for children deserve similar recognition to poetry, plays, or novels. To give those librarians, who make it their life work to serve children's reading interests, an opportunity to encourage good writing in this field."

Through the years, the Newberry has gone to works that include A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle, Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH by Robert C. O'Brienas, The Door in the Wall by Marguerite de Angeli, Daniel Boone by James Daugherty, The Voyages of Doctor Dolittle by Hugh Lofting, Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson, and Sarah, Plain and Tall by Patricia MacLachlan, to mention just a few.

The 2007 Newberry Medal winner is The Higher Power of Lucky by Susan Patron, and is described on Simon & Schuster's web site thusly:

"Lucky, age ten, can't wait another day. The meanness gland in her heart and the crevices full of questions in her brain make running away from Hard Pan, California (population 43), the rock-bottom only choice she has.

It's all Brigitte's fault -- for wanting to go back to France. Guardians are supposed to stay put and look after girls in their care! Instead Lucky is sure that she'll be abandoned to some orphanage in Los Angeles where her beloved dog, HMS Beagle, won't be allowed. She'll have to lose her friends Miles, who lives on cookies, and Lincoln, future U.S. president (maybe) and member of the International Guild of Knot Tyers. Just as bad, she'll have to give up eavesdropping on twelve-step anonymous programs where the interesting talk is all about Higher Powers. Lucky needs her own -- and quick.

But she hadn't planned on a dust storm.

Or needing to lug the world's heaviest survival-kit backpack into the desert."

Sounds good, right? A book about a girl who wants to take charge of her own destiny, find her place in the world and who, in the process, learns to trust people--particularly her guardian, Brigitte. But apparently even a Newberry book can cause an uproar in libraries, especially school libraries, across America, and it takes just one little word. Wanna know what that word is?

It's right there, on the first page: "Scrotum."

That's it--that's what the uproar is all about. Not an actual scrotum, but the word. The author decided (I think rightly) that using the proper anatomical name was a better fit for her story than, say, hoo-ha or winkey or peepee. And the word choice was germane to the story: Lucky overhears it and spends the entire book learning to trust someone enough to ask what it means.

Here's the thing: Words are just that--words. The only power they have is that which we give them. There is nothing wrong with using the proper names for body parts like scrotum, penis, vagina, breasts, labia, vulva. But there is great harm in NOT using the proper name, as there is in just not talking about "those things" at all. Sure, don't talk about it, don't tell kids what "it" is. They're going to find out anyway--it's human nature. Think they're going to tell you?

Two weeks ago, I did this web search: "is amoxicillyn still good if not refrigerated." I never would have guessed that one of the results would be "Can I still get pregnant if I refrigerate semen to drink later?" I think it's a safe bet that this girl's parents thought that telling her about "the facts of life," or "the birds and the bees" or, better yet, "SEX," would make her promiscuous. That's bullshit, not to mention irresponsible.

You don't have to give them the gory details but, at a minimum, kids need to know the basics--much of which they will have already heard from friends, so be prepared to correct a few misconceptions. Mention, if you like, that it's an expression of love. Talk about the consequences--STDs and pregnancy come to mind. Sure that discussion might be uncomfortable for both parent and kid, but it beats the hell out of the alternative. After all, how many more times do we want to read about girls who thought they couldn't get pregnant the first time? Or standing up? Or any of the other ridiculous things that kids tell each other to fill the information vacuum?

Armed with accurate information, teens might just be more likely to delay sex and to be more careful about protecting themselves when they do have sex. So put the damn book on the shelves, call a scrotum a scrotum and stop treating kids like idiots.

Charlotte Update

Over the past few months Charlotte has been making amazing progress. She has also seen her first (and hopefully last) neurologist and had her second and third visits to pediatric opthamologists-one doctor checked to make sure all of the eye muscles were normal, the second checked her retinas to make sure there was no damage left from her being premature.

So her progress report:

1) In November when Charlotte had her evaluation at C-A-R, she still rated pretty young in gross and fine motor skills. Her gross motor skills were solid to about 9-15 months, mostly because she didn't walk and wasn't able to maintain her balance. As of today, she can walk and run--still with a stiff gait but it's getting better every day. We're still working with the PT to get her left side stronger; Hannah likes to help with the "super girl" and the wheel barrow exercises, which is great, because Charlotte wants to do whatever Hannah does.

Her fine motor skills have improved enough for her to hold a crayon/pen/pencil with a mature grasp (4-5 year old rather than that of a 2 year old) and she can even draw small circles, which her OT tells me is very impressive for her age. She can stack 7 blocks, put tiny objects into a container held out in front of her and then dump them out (instead of trying to reach in), as well as many other things that I never thought about a little kid needing to learn how to do.

2) The November evaluation also showed below-average cognition as well as below-average receptive and expressive language skills, meaning that she didn't understand everything we were saying--in fact at times it seemed as though she wasn't aware that the noises we were making constituted communication (Hannah doesn't get this either, but I think that's normal for a four-year old) and she wasn't able to communicate with us much, either. At that time, her total vocabulary--signed and verbal--was about 15 words.

The receptive language delay seems to have been most of the problem with her cognition because today, just over three months later, Charlotte has a signed and verbal vocabulary of 60+ words, and trust me when I say that she understands everything that we say. It only takes a couple of times showing her a new sign before she gets--and uses--it. (The one she learned on the first try was "MM" for "M&Ms." She knows where they are and won't take "no" for an answer--which is why we have to go to Target again tomorrow.)

She is also signing phrases, including "more bear please," unprompted, and creating her own compound signs--combining "more" and "cookie," for example. The first time she did it, I tried to show her the two signs separately since I didn't understand her. She corrected me, signing it a little more emphatically the second time then clapping her hands at me as if to say "good job!" when I asked if that meant "more cookie." Ok, ok, I get it! I was so proud of her that I didn't even make her say please!

For basic cognition, she matches shape to shape, picture to picture and object to picture. She is also pretty good at the basic shape puzzles. (Tip from her teachers: when teaching kids to use shape puzzles, you should put in any shape other than a square, circle, triangle or rectangle--these are the shapes they see every day and are most familiar with.) She is also good at recognizing people and things and no longer signs "dog" at any animal she hasn't seen before.

She's also good at problem solving, for example: we put cheerios into ice cube trays so that she would have to use a pincer grasp to get them out. She did this twice, looked at the tray, picked it up, dumped all of the Cheerios on to the table and tossed the ice cube tray aside. So basically, she's pretty much at (or above) age-level. We just have to figure out how to help her get the words out.

3) The neurologist thinks that Charlotte will have caught up in gross and fine motor skills as well as expressive language by her third birthday. Yay! We follow up in six months just to make sure that she is still on track.

4) The opthamologist reports no damage to the retinas (as expected) but that she does have a slight astigmatism in her left eye and is a bit near-sighted in her right. The doctor offered to write a weak prescription for glasses, but changed his mind after I told him that little miss destruct-o would snap them in 20 minutes, tops. Another 6-month follow-up.

Next Steps:
I'm trying to get Charlotte into a hippo-therapy program (you're forgiven for not knowing what that is. It's horses, not hippos.:). Both the PT and the OT recommended it to help relax her trunk and open up her shoulder girdle. This will help alleviate the stiffness in her midsection, get a full range of motion in her arms and shoulders, improve her balance, etc. Fortunately, insurance should cover the sessions--the upkeep on horses isn't cheap, I think. That and the fee for the OT and/or the PT who run the session--most of whom are worth their weight in gold.

We're still doing 1 hour a week each of PT, OT and speech therapies, as well as a 2.5 hour class once a week with other developmentally delayed kids. At home, we do at least 20 minutes a day each of the PT, OT and speech--but usually it ends up being much more. A lot of the PT work Charlotte doesn't like because she figures out pretty quickly that it's actually work. Believe it or not, the speech is the most difficult--Hannah won't let either of us get a word in edgewise!

I am so incredibly proud of Charlotte and would like to say that I'm handling all of this gracefully, but there are days when I just want to go and hide in corner while I cry. When I look at her goal sheet and the gap between how far she's come and how far she still has to go, I can't help but feel unequal to the task.

Because Hannah hit all of her marks early, my biggest concerns with her were teaching her right from wrong, to clean up after herself and not to sass mommy. But with Charlotte, I have to make sure she watches me say every word, emphasizing the first letter sound. I have to look up new signs every day so that she can tell me what she wants. I have to remember that the calf muscles need to shorten and lengthen and that there are two different types of exercises for each. We have to take walks, making sure to go uphill and down. I have to remember to hold her shoulder back and down while she works; to make sure she turns and stretches from the hips while sticking color forms on the mirror; to get her to spend time stacking things up--preferably above her head--before she knocks them over; to stand on her left leg; to walk on her toes; to ask her to fix her legs when she sits in a "w" and to adjust her pelvis when she sits with her legs stretched out in front. I also have to remember that, when she's tired, Charlotte will quite often just fall over. If she lands on her left side, she will sort of get stuck for a minute or two, shaking, while her muscles work to pull her up again.

There's more, of course, but I feel like an ass for crying about it when I am able to stay home and take her to her appointments and do her homework. There are parents in our class who work full-time and deal with all of the same issues and more.

One other mom from the class and I agreed that one of the hardest aspects of all of this is that, as the primary caregiver, it feels as though it's all on us. If our daughters don't progress, we didn't work hard enough. When they succeed, we just cross off those goals, write in new ones and start all over again. And of course, the older and smarter the girls get, the more stubborn they get. But . . .

We were playing in the garden today and Charlotte came up behind me and kissed me on the head. It seems like such a little thing, but I didn't ask her for a kiss. She walked up to me and did it on her own. I was stunned, amazed and delighted. I can't wait until the day when she kisses me and whispers "I love you mommy." You always know that it's worth it, but moments like that really let you see what a great job you're BOTH doing.

When she was a baby people would always remark on what a good baby she was and how sweet she was. Thomas and I would alway assure them that yes, she was and that we thought that we'd keep her. If I were younger, I'd take 10 more just like her.

Hannah on Working Moms (well, one mom, anyway)

Late yesterday afternoon I was sneaking in a few minutes of writing time while Hannah was watching a movie. Once she realized what I was doing, the movie was no longer interesting:

Hannah:
"Do you want a sticker? I love stickers. Let's play a game!"

Me:
"Can I just finish up this one section? I'm almost done . . ."

Hannah (with world's largest pout):
"I'm really frustrated with you for working.

It's not meant for you.

Only boys, not Mommys.

Mommys don't go anywhere or do anything."

Um, not good. I don't want Hannah and Charlotte growing up thinking they just have to know how to be a good wife, how to cook, do laundry and keep the house clean. Which is basically what my mother told me, and probably my sisters, too.

Mom later apologized for it, but in some ways the damage had been done. After all, when you spend most of your early years doing all of the household chores (don't leave a dish dirty or you'll have to wash every one in the house. Every last one. Good times!), not being allowed to play sports, and not being encouraged in math and science, you sort of get it set in your mind that you can't do those things. Not just "not allowed" but actually "incapable." It's a hard lesson to overcome and most emphatically not one I want my daughters to learn.

Today, my sister Sarah told me that my eight year old niece, who has been playing soccer since she was three--the last couple of years in an all-girl league--had her first practice with her new, co-ed league. Inexplicably, she decided to pretend to the boys that she didn't know how to play. She then stood back and let them do everything.

Fortunately, Sarah was having none of that. After practice, she pulled her daughter aside and asked her what that was all about. When there was no satisfactory answer, my niece was told that this was not to happen again. That she knew how to play--probably better than most of the other kids there, including the boys. That, next practice, she was to go out there and be aggressive and do her best or there would be no soccer.

All three of Sarah's girls have been told, basically from birth, just how lucky they are to be girls: they can do anything that the boys can do and then go home and put on a pretty dress if they want to. Something that most boys don't get to do.

Amen to that.

She is my younger sister, but I want to be just like Sarah when I grow up.

41 One Ways to Avoid (re)Writing A Book

1. It's spring in California--at least this week. Time to start weeding
2. Read the papers: the Washington Post, New York Times, International Herald Tribune, LA Time, San Jose Mercury News--whatever you can get your browser on
3. Do the dishes—let them pile up during the day for when you run out of other distractions
4. Laundry—7 loads and Counting! (Handy (?) tip: if you are ever in the regrettable position of having to make a deal with the devil and he asks when he can have your soul, just tell him "when I'm done with the laundry")
5. Pretend to read the books you got for research
6. Renew said books for the second time
7. Open one ordered from Amazon (also research), scan it and decided that you are crazy to think you can write a book on the same topic
8. Call sister to see if you are, indeed, crazy for thinking that you can write a book on the same topic
9. Stretch the conversation out to 45 minutes
10. Call mother-in-law, just to bug her at work
11. Feel guilty about calling someone hard at work just so that you can put off your own project
12. Have another cup of coffee
13. Do the crossword puzzle
14. Do yesterdays crossword puzzle
15. Clean up dog poop
16. Curse husband for not cleaning up dog poop, even though you are using it as an excuse to not write
17. Eat chocolate from daughter’s Valentine’s box
18. Break open a couple of the chocolates—just a bit—to see if you actually want to eat it
19. Start picking up the toys that your daughter was supposed to clean up before school
20. Take the dog for a walk. A long walk
21. Put together a list of the music you really like right now. Include links
22. Start another writing project
23. Sort the recycling
24. Reread the list of 700 hobo names from John Hodgman’s The Areas of My Expertise
25. Wonder why so many people take personally books and articles (and blog entries) that were written in the abstract
26. Begin ultimately vain attempt to find the kitchen counters
27. Watch hummingbird outside window. Marvel that they are so plentiful here
28. Wonder if #27 actually two items
29. Reformat one writing project (not the one you’re supposed to be working on)
30. Search through three notebooks for your notes
31. Decide that now is the right time to consolidate the notebooks
32. Rest your head in your hands, daydreaming about how far into the book you might be had you just remembered to back up the file
33. Snap self out of the daydream and quickly e-mail all current projects to yourself
34. Put George Bush’s photo on the punching bag for inspiration
35. Wonder if just writing that is going to get you a visit from the Secret Service
36. Wonder why they are still called “Secret” Service when everyone knows who—and usually where—they are. “Psst: The glasses kind of give it away"
37. Call sister again and read list of 41 ways to avoid writing
38. Go to the grocery store. Only buy one gallon of milk so you have to go back tomorrow
39. Wonder when George Washington and Abraham Lincoln started selling cars
40. Check to see if Macy’s is having a sale because that hasn’t happened since, wow, yesterday
41. Read the Esquire cover article on Robert Downey, Jr., because, admit it, after all these years you still have a crush on him

About that Hair . . .

You must know by now that Britney Spears has decided that Bald Is Beautiful--that or she was desperate to, at least momentarily, change the subject from her other hairless bits that most of us wouldn't normally think of flashing in public. (I'm trying not to be cynical enough to think that it was just to get back in the public eye after Anna Nicole Smith grabbed the headlines for the past couple of weeks. I think it's actually a sad and not-very-subtle plea for help. Where is her mother? Her manager?)

Whether stunt or plea, the photos are everywhere. So when you get tired of seeing Britney's oddly asexual bald head, Jess at Apropos of Something has a list--and photos!--of eight women who look better bald. (My votes go to Persis Khambatta, Kylie Minogue, and Natalie Portman.)

And if that doesn't get the image out of your mind, allow me to insert another, almost as unsettling: This weekend, Thomas removed a hairball from the shower drain that was about as big as the pile of hair Brit left lying on the salon floor.

You're welcome!

Music I Love

We could also call this the "because I'm trying to avoid rewriting my book" list, but I'm working on that as a separate post. Basically, it's most of the KFOG new-music play list because I'm a dork and don't stray too far when looking for new, non-classical or jazz--although sometimes they throw one of those in, too. Maybe for the WTF?! factor, but I still appreciate it. I get a lot of other recommendations from HeadButler.com--also a great place for book and movie reviews and recommendations. So, in no particular order:

Brandi Carlilie, The Story (available in April)

Amy Winehouse, Back to Black (available as an import--warning: explicit lyrics!)

Keane, Under the Iron Sea

Blue October, Foiled

The Decemberists, The Crane Wife

The Killers, Sam's Town, When You Were Young (single, import)

Mica Lee Williams, Lucid Dreaming High (also has a new CD coming out in April)

Rodrigo y Gabriela, Self-titled (Charlotte's favorite, next to any Red Hot Chili Peppers)

Arvo Part, Alina (If I were given a choice of one classical CD to listen to for the rest of my life, this one would be a top contender.)

Josh Ritter, Animal Years

I listen to a lot of classical music too, but I'll save that for another avoiding-the-book list.