Dear, dear Facebook,

Please stop randomly changing my account settings. If I wanted a notification every time someone sneezed, I would have had one of my friends create that as an option. Also, for fun, fix chat and messaging, stop doubling the chat icons, don't arbitrarily change the "share" options when I post from my phone, let me delete stuff from my phone, and please, for the love of god, stop with the Kardashian shoe ads.

Yes, I like shoes. (OK, I love them.) No, I will never buy a shoe that has that name on it. I have marked these ads as offensive, uninteresting and I forget what else. Tacky? Slutty? Anyway. Stop. Please.

Also: I would have posted this on Facebook, but you don't like the long updates. Why is that? Let people have one or two long updates every week or so. Where's the harm? If it pisses off our friends, they can hide us.

Love,

Me