I saw a friend today, a woman I hadn't seen in months. Like me, she has two daughters and is a S.A.H.M. And while I felt a bit on the schlumpy side today--you know, baggy eyes, I showered but didn't wash my hair, forgot to shave and wore cropped pants anyway--she looked, in a word, fantastic. She looked rested and relatively relaxed. And also a lot thinner than the last time I saw her.
I know you're not supposed to comment on the weight thing, but I couldn't help myself. I didn't go all the way to the "Wow! You've lost weight!" But out slipped:
"Wow! You look FABULOUS!"
"Thanks! It's my new diet: wine, cigarettes and the alarm I have on my ass."
"I'm sorry, the what?"
"Yeah, apparently I have an alarm on my ass. It goes off every time I sit down. Someone always wants something, so I never get to eat."
Being a closet smoker also seems to help as she has to run outside every time she wants a cigarette. Her four-year-old thinks that, since Mom is always checking them, the sprinklers are in really bad shape.