It's a Minivan, Guys . . .

. . . not a threat to your manhood.

I am a firm believer in the alternate merge. I don't cut you off. I let you in when you need to change lanes. I don't tail gate (OK, sometimes). And yes, there is another car I might prefer to drive. But I, like so many other minivan drivers, have kids. And a Great Dane who might think he's a lap dog but would never fit in that car. So I drive the minivan with the oh-so-handy automatic doors and sanity-saving GPS.

So please, if I am trying to pass, don't speed up just to block me in. Don't cut me off, though I do understand the occasional emergency or "oops, I didn't see you there." A friendly wave usually takes care of that. Don't slow down in the carpool lane or flip me off just to protest my right to use it. Try to remember that I probably have at least one whining and/or screaming kid in the car, and maybe even a dog in the middle of a musical performance reminiscent of grandma after a dinner of cabbage and broccoli.

And that's all I have to say about that.