1. Hannah, on seeing a photo of a model:
Mommy, why is her skirt all the way up to her vagina?
Why indeed, peanut.
2. Charlotte, still unable to pronounce the blended sound, "ow":
Mommy! You c[o]unt! You c[o]unt! One, two, three . . . .
Her speech therapist didn't understand at first why I thought this an important thing to work on. But once I told her that this had been yelled at me in a crowded store and in a coffee shop, she figured it out.